A crying newborn – a mother gently kisses her crying baby on the forehead
The baby’s here

A crying newborn: reasons newborns cry

It can be very tough when your baby cries a lot and is difficult to soothe. This article explains how you can help your crying newborn and where you can get support. 

Nicole Stadelmann
 6 Min. Reading Time
  •    Short and simple 
    Some babies are known as excessive criers.
    They cry more and for longer than other babies.
    This is difficult for the parents.
    Going for a walk, listening to calming music and massaging your baby can help.
    Never shake a baby!
    Ask your paediatrician for help.
    There are also advice centers for families with excessively crying babies.
Excessive criers are physically healthy babies who cry a lot for no obvious reason and are very difficult to calm. But how can you tell whether your newborn is an excessive crier?

Normal or excessively crying newborn?

All babies cry or scream from time to time – everyone knows that. However, some cry more than others. They are known as «colicky babies» or excessive criers. Is your child an excessive crier? One useful guide is the rule of threes developed by paediatrician Morris Wessel. Excessively crying babies typically cry:

  • more than three hours a day 
  • on more than three days per week 
  • over at least three weeks

Other typical characteristics of excessive criers:

  • They can only be calmed for a short time or with a great deal of effort.
  • They cry most frequently in the late afternoons and the first half of the night.
  • They have difficulty getting to sleep.
  • They do not like to be put down.
  • The crying often begins from the second week of life and lasts until the baby is three months old. In rare cases it can go on until they are about six months.
  • Crying frequently occurs in connection with breastfeeding.
Even if the baby cries for a shorter time or less frequently, this can still push the mother and father to their limits. What counts is how difficult the situation is for the parents, not whether the rule of threes is fulfilled.

Reasons newborns cry

A crying newborn – a father holds his crying baby and tries to calm it

Despite considerable research, the exact reasons why some babies cry so much are not fully understood. The terms “regulatory disorder” and “high-needs baby” are used in this context. However, this is not a disorder or a disease, as the name might suggest, but a temporary developmental phase. Researchers suspect that excessive criers/babies with a regulatory disorder are highly sensitive to stimulation and have difficulty calming themselves. At this age, crying is the only way to express yourself.

If you imagine how many new impressions a newborn baby experiences each day, it is easier to understand how they can get overstimulated. Everything – absolutely everything – is new for them! Some babies find it harder to comprehend the world around them than others. 

Many parents worry that their baby is crying or screaming so much because they have done something wrong. The important thing to remember is: it is not your fault if your baby cries!

If you are feeling unsure, talk to your paediatrician to make certain that your baby is healthy.

Calming your newborn 

If your baby is in a phase where they cry a lot, you need to be patient. Unfortunately there are no universally applicable tips that can help you in this situation. You just have to try various methods out and allow yourself and your baby the time you need to find the right calming techniques.

 Caution: never shake your baby!

The parents of an excessively crying baby can be pushed to their absolute limits – that is understandable. But however challenging the situation might be, you must never shake a newborn or an infant. They could suffer a serious injury and permanent damage to their health. 
Tips for calming your excessive crier

  • Create daily routines for your baby (e.g. going for a walk in the evenings, regular sleep and waking rhythms).

  • Minimise external stimulation (e.g. light, noise, smells, contact with strangers).

  • Increase the amount of physical contact you have with your baby, even when they are not crying (e.g. by carrying them around in the “tiger in the tree” hold or in a baby sling).

  • Sing or play calming music (e.g. classical) to your baby.

  • Try giving your baby a warm bath or foot soak before putting them to bed.

  • Gently massage your baby’s tummy.

  • Expose your child to monotonous noises (e.g. extractor fans, vacuum cleaners, car engine when you are driving).

  • Go for a walk in the fresh air with your child.

  • Avoid trying to calm your baby in excessively active ways. Hold your baby calmly in your arms or lay them down gently in their bed, with one hand on their tummy and the other on their head to give them a feeling of security. 


For the parents: look after yourselves

  • You should also try to calm yourself. Your baby will notice when you are stressed.

  • Incorporate relaxation exercises into your daily routine (e.g. before going to bed).

  • During a screaming fit, the “extended exhale” exercise can help you to feel calmer. Breathe in for a count of four and then breathe out for a count of six. Repeat this 10 to 12 times.

  • If necessary, use ear protectors during a screaming fit.

What to do in an emergency 

Are you at your wits’ end? You might even be feeling an urge to shake the baby because they simply will not calm down. In this situation you need to act immediately:

  1. Put your child down in a safe place (e.g. their bed).
  2. Go out of the room for a short time and give yourself some space.
  3. Try to calm yourself down. If you cannot manage to do so, get help straight away (e.g. by calling Elternnotruf, the emergency helpline for parents.
  4. Only return to your baby when you feel calm and ready to do so.
A crying newborn – a man lies on the sofa holding a cup of tea in his hand

 The CONCORDIA mental health check can offer guidance on coping with the mental burden.

Have you been feeling under considerable mental strain for more than two weeks? Are you unsure whether you might need psychological help? CONCORDIA insured persons can take the mental health check. This straightforward online check provides an initial assessment of your mental health and specific recommendations from a psychologist. 

Go to the mental health check

Get help! 

When your baby cries all the time, this can be very hard to deal with. As parents, you may feel stressed, overwhelmed and powerless to do anything about it. You no longer have the necessary calm to soothe your baby. For that reason, it is essential to ask for support from people close to you and free up some space for yourself so you can rest. Contact your paediatrician or an advice center for support. You are not alone – many parents have this experience! 

Verein Schreibabyhilfe (available in German) (support association for people with excessive criers) offers further information on treatments and everyday tips for parents of excessive criers and family members. Exchanging experiences with and talking to affected parents via the WhatsApp chat “Schreibaby” can also help you to find hope again. 

Useful advice centers and relief services:

A pregnant woman sits on the sofa with her laptop and paperwork

 Which benefits are covered by your health insurance for maternity?

Go to our overview of benefits for pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period. There you will find detailed information on the benefits provided by your basic health insurance and CONCORDIA’s supplementary insurance policies. You can also find out more about the cost contribution.

Go to the overview of benefits

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Experts from our partner Pro Juventute have checked this text for factual accuracy. 


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